Sunday 13th September 2020
It is incredibly windy outside and as the beach is only 5 minutes walk away, I will walk on it and appreciate the bracing air and the sea spray.
These last few weeks such moments are becoming more important as a major milestone birthday approaches. It fast approaches.
It is important to think about the person you are becoming and welcome her. A quote I use often when applicable to a reading is from the Baal Shem Tov, the founder of the Hassidic movement, and I found it in biographical book “Becoming Eve” by Jewish Transgender Activist Abby Stein.
If I must fall I will, but the one I am becoming will find catch me.
There is no truer quote or statement.
Likely dear reader you are aware I present a Tarot for the Day on Facebook and Twitter; occasionally I will get a message saying “but it is okay for you to say that, but you don’t have my problems”.
What a loaded question and it is a question that misses the point of reality and illusion.
Some are aware I am Transgender. It is not something I hide but I do not fly a pride flag either. I want to be known by my actions and not by my LGBTQ status. If there is a person that understands stresses and mental anguish, it is a transgender woman in her late 40s whose family is actively unsupportive and very undermining. So yes, I can say it as I have lived it. I had a situation last week when someone decided to deliberately misgender me. I ignored it without even acknowledging his presence.
A number of trans-people I have no doubt would be aghast as to their mind I let it go. However, my I did not "let it go". If I stand and act all indignant when an idiot I have never met before and will never meet again, decides he wants to upset me then I am saying he has power in my life. The truth is the transphobe does not matter, he has no power over me and I am not about to give him any, so I ignored him for the non-entity he is. The power you have is to rise, to rise above, live your best life and sprinkle stardust to inspire others. Your belief in your own self-worth is the most powerful armour you will ever have.
The smile and “hello” from a server in a coffee shop can make all the difference to the upset customer. Many servers know they have that power and it is why that job is important to them. Those people are so much more advanced than the transphobe above, he may well be professional and have a big salary but he is still living in the primordial swamp compared to that coffee server on minimum wage who knows their smile has just made the difference in someone’s life. It is a beautiful thing.
Life is such that if you believe in your own magic and the magic around you, that you can reach up to the stars and collect them or add new stars to the sky, it’s an incredible image, a dream, but if you can dream it you can live it. Critics are most often tied to their troubles, and actively refuse to leave their cage and do not want to take that burden off their backs so they can walk free without mental or spiritual backache. That cage is only there if you ascribe power to it. It is simply a case of troubles being familiar and adventure being scary. Only the adventurer truly lives though.
The reason for the walk in the sea spray is to contemplate new moves. The Occult Philosopher George Gurdjieff, whose work I have a real love for, said people are in general asleep and their lives are mechanical and only fleetingly they wake. This sleep is not something I want to recline into.
If you want life to change, you have to change it, no one else will do it for you. It is in your power. In a reading I will often tell someone to be selfish. Only when you are happy and you love yourself can you then give some of that love to others. If you smile you will make others smile. So I am selfish.
New moves, yes, I created a tasseomancy reading called Coffee Wisdom for an award-winning Coffee company to broadcast every week. Corporate fortune telling aimed at inspiring the viewer. That was a star in my basket, which I reached up into the heavens and set it there, to sparkle. Many would have called such a thing impossible - Fortune telling as the publicity for an international coffee company. Nothing is impossible, I used my magic.
Since I transitioned my performing vocation, being a very arcane mix of the psychic, the occult and the deeply spiritual, has been my life and it has been very enjoyable and profitable as a way of life. At some venues all presentations sell out a year in advance. The stars are aligned, but there are always new stars and constellations awaiting you.
Now I see another constellation and I want to add a new star to it. It has taken nearly 50 years for me to see this beautiful pattern in the night sky. When this pandemic is over however that happens, I will be selfishly making those new moves manifest. In the meantime I will keep working on that plan.
This Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, I will turn 50. New Year, new plans, new Mazel (stars). I am fond of the Talmud and its reference that there is a “Mazal of the hour”. It is not you waiting for the star to be there. The star is always there and is awaiting you to raise your eye and see it.